Why are you vegan?

A massive topic, I feel very passionate about and I get asked it quite often. When new people come into my life soon enough food is either offered or I get asked if I have tried the new restaurant or food product promoted. It is just as common as being asked if you saw the programme on television last night which naturally leads to people asking why we don't have a television!

My reason for being a vegan is simple, I love animals. I admit that I truly struggle to understand how anyone can eat the dead body of another being. There you go plain and simple nothing fancy about it, if the meal offered has ever had a beating heart I cannot bring myself to eat it. I do not see a lovely steak with buttery mushrooms I see a part of a dead body on a plate which I do not want to eat.

I cannot understand how people can cuddle up to their cats of an evening on the sofa showing love and affection whilst they have had chicken casserole for tea. I see no difference between the life of a cat and the life of a chicken.

When social media goes mad as a zoo or hunter has killed a gorilla, lion or zebra for example I get annoyed knowing three quarters of my friends who are out raged by this one death eat the flesh of hundreds of animals each and every year without any thought of the animals right to life. I cannot see the sense in this and oh my the people who call themselves 'animals lovers' well how can this be?

Now the next part always goes along the lines of, 'Well an animal isn't killed for milk?', no there isn't flesh of an animal in milk and milk products but lets put it this way - How would people react if I bottled my breast milk and fed it to my dog? If I kept having babies but instead of feeding my babies fed my dog? Would that be seen as 'normal' because like it or not that is what we are doing, drinking another animals breast milk. That's without looking into the fact calves are taken from their mothers for us to have that milk, that the cows are impregnated over and over again each time after the physical stress they then grieve for their child taken from them on a constant loop until it is seen they are too old to produce so they are killed for their flesh. All so we can have some milk, cream and cheese when there are plenty of other ways of making such products.

Just think about that for a moment. Truly see what is on your plate, is taste worth more than a life?

When stepping back helps

Sometimes you need to step back to see things clearly and you know there is nothing wrong with that. Whether taking a few hours to step back from a big project, a week out to figure out where a relationship is going or a daily technology switch off for an hour to recharge the mind - whatever it is you need to step back from do so.

I'll admit guilt makes this hard for me but the more I do so the easier it is getting and the better I feel. My house doesn't fall down if I step away for some me time, it is an important self care practice and I am hoping it will pass on to my children to aid their self care as they grow. So work through the guilt, your body and mind will thank you for it.

Sometimes it can be stepping back from one person, a particular situation or as I can sometimes feel just life in general - a good book in bed does the job for me in those moments. Whatever or whoever you need to step back from will benefit on your return.

As a mother it is difficult to say but I am sure I am not alone in saying that sometimes I need to step away from my children, they have done nothing challenging for this to occur it is as simple as my brain gets tired sometimes and I need to be in my own space. This doesn't make me a bad parent (I thought it did in the early days though) it makes me a better one. Just an hour to myself of an evening, even a dash around the supermarket whilst they are home with their Dad bathing makes me fresher on return. It gives me time to think about any plans we have, challenges we are going through and I find great ideas come through when I have peace to switch off for a moment.

So step back, put yourself higher up the priority and to do lists and you will soon feel the benefits.

Thanks, I Love You!

Today during a conversation with my brother a passing comment was made and agreed by us both - we never remember our mother saying she loves us. We are 31 and 45 years of age, our Mum is still very much alive at 68 years and yet neither of us ever remember hearing our Mum say she loves us. Our family don't do feelings, open chats and communication at all well and I feel this proves that even more.

Why though? Does she not love us? Our relationship with our Mother has always been rather intense at times and the same can be said for our other two siblings. We were brought up to stand our ground and be confident in our thoughts, unless those thoughts were different to our mothers of course and then we were wrong in all our actions and words. My Nan, Mum's mother passed when I was 12 and I never remember hearing a positive word said about her, visiting was always an inconvenience and required a lot of effort and the relationship between the pair was clearly strained and far from close.

Mum had a stroke almost five years ago and that changed her, she is softer now and in age like many she is relaxing slightly. I've heard her say love you to her grandchildren, surely she said it to us too but were has that memory gone. Another passing comment was neither of us ever remember her saying she was proud of us. She is though, right?

Mum has said and done some very hurtful things towards me and I have reacted the only way I knew how growing up which was to say some hurtful things back in my teens and then shut her out in my early adult years. Her words have never left me and even now I protect myself from her, not seeing her if feeling vulnerable or tired, energy bubbles and affirmations before/during a catch up and working hard to gain the confidence and self love that was knocked from me during childhood.

I have worked on releasing anger towards her and through therapy, meditation and personal growth have learnt to live with the past as the past and look forward. I am not sure I have forgiven Mum though, if anything now as a mother myself I am truly baffled at how I have been treated and work hard to not be the parent she was. It dawned on me during my conversation with my brother that we have both had to go through this and have done it separately and in a very shut off manor, something my other two siblings must have also done as we were all treated the same growing up. It saddens me we couldn't have pulled together but I was grateful for the brief chat with my brother as I didn't feel so alone in my situation (I made sure I told him I was glad we had had our chat).

We all have children now and each of us four siblings have brought/are bringing our children up very differently to one another. I am sure we are all ensuring our children know they are loved though! That's how parenting works right, you either become just as your parents were or go in a different direction to try and allow your children a childhood different to your own.

Sadly it has taken me a while to realise this is something my own mother couldn't do, her mother didn't or couldn't show her the affection a child needs and so she had no idea how to show it to us. Her own issues and anger had a knock on affect on all four of her children and we have all had our difficulties within our relationship with her and as individuals. In a way I feel sorry for her, as I see her age and begin to view life differently, realise for some things it is just too late, you cannot get time back.

Then the next step in my head is the fear of what if I do the same to my children or if in my overcompensating behaviour I cause a different kind of issue? I would go as far to say I am paranoid about becoming not only the mother but also the wife that she is. This fear is unhealthy and I am working on releasing it for I know how the law of attraction works and that is something I most definitely do not wish to attract.

I know I love her and despite a lot of doubt throughout my life I do believe she loves me as she does all of her children. I am going to take our relationship as a lesson - what a blessing to have a lesson so early on in my life to teach me how I want to live my adult life and how I want to parent. So really the one thing I do want to say to my Mum is 'Thanks, I love you'.

Just Live!

A lady I had never met before came to our circle group this week and said something that really struck with me.
'Someone once said to me don't be a human bring, be a human doing.'
This someone in my mind is a genius so lets all go and be a human doing! Enjoy!