Someone Out There

Take a few minutes to listen to this beautiful song by Rae Morris - Someone Out There

We all need reminding of this from time to time, share this with your friends and family today!

Marriage

This year will mark the tenth year since I met my husband and nine years since we got married. Our daughters will turn eight and six this year also. Some might say we don't hang around, but we just knew from that first kiss. Almost sounds movie like I know.

Now these ten years haven't all been smooth running, there was a low time when I truly believed our marriage was over, that we had somehow failed. There have been times when we have held one another wondering how we were going to get through the challenges the universe was sending our way. Neither of us knows how we have got here through these challenges but we have and best of all we are happy!  

Going into our tenth year together has got me thinking what the next ten years will bring and excited as to where our journey is going to take us with our beautiful girls by our sides.

Two close friends of ours have got married this year and what beautiful moments their special days were. I felt a rush of excitement for them knowing they have found love, knowing they have a life full of adventure ahead of them. This got me wondering, can we ever give advice on marriage? Are there 'rules' which if you follow you'll be together for the rest of your days?

I am not sure there are - we have friends whose living set up is very different to ours but it works for them. I am aware there are people who couldn't live how we live in regards to house chore sharing, having personal space, the lack of nights out and even how we talk our stuff through but it works for us. It has taken us a while to get the balance right and as we all grow and develop we will need to change things slightly to keep us balanced.

Like everything in life I need to do what is right for me and within any relationship that is discussing everyone's needs and compromising from time to time, checking in from time to time how everyone is and if I have a concern I don't keep it in, I let them know and ask me to do the same. Now that is what works for me and my husband. Maybe that works for others too, maybe it doesn't.

The one thing all relationships need is honesty, yes sometimes it is hard to hear what the other person has to say but listen and work through it, it is worth those few uncomfortable moments for all the happy ones. Apart from that just do what works for you as a couple, that is truly unique to you because each couple is truly unique right?

Children Learn What the Live

I have always loved this, to me it is so full of truth and brings us back to the basics of parenting and being involved in any child's life whether as friend or family. 

Remember the basics as that is where the building blocks of a person truly begin and they last with us a lifetime!

Fix Yourself

I do not believe anyone goes through life without needing some personal time, time to work on themselves and space to stop and listen to where they need to be heading. Some people might need more time to fix themselves than others but we all need fixing from time to time and that is healthy. 

Many people (including my past self) look for fixing through relationships either family, friend or romantic, career status, alcohol, food, medication, drugs and even environmental changes e.g moving house. The truth is though is that no one or nothing can fix you, only you can. This might not always be easy, actually most of the time it isn't easy but working through the discomfort brings nothing but benefits. Not working through discomfort only brings more discomfort. 

Now if we don't check in on ourselves to see if we need fixing (maybe think of it more as maintenance) we break, just as a car will break down without services and general good care. It can take a few months or even years for some but the time will come to everyone. Signs of this include depression, anxiety and physical illness. This is not a sign of weakness, it is a chance to show your inner strength. To grow as a person mentally, even spirituality. Our body and mind will let us know if it is unhappy all we have to do is listen. 

Listening is easier said than done in a busy world of noise though - social noise, environmental noise and mental noise all drown out the signs our body gives us. So how can we hear our body over all that daily noise?

How about we all try something? Every day check in once, just for a few minutes, stop and check in. Ask yourself how you feel, scan your body for any aches or pains, check in on your energy levels and if they are OK for the time of day and most importantly stop and breathe deeply. This will only take a few minutes, it can be done anywhere - in the shower, first thing upon waking or last thing at night in bed, on the train to work even sat on the toilet. Find a time to suit you and do it. 

Listen and if something needs fixing then fix it, whether some early nights are needed,basic back stretches or a chat with your boss about work related stresses your body will let you know exactly what it is you are needing at that moment to stay healthy.  

  

Just try a few minutes for a week, then a fortnight, then a month and then check in again as to how your are feeling and the connection between your mind and body. You might you start doing it more than once a day, maybe first thing in the morning and again last thing at night or that you take longer to check in but finish feeling more relaxed and focused, just see how you go. There is no right and wrong, just listen.